Black Girl Rant #5: DMV Traffic

                                                                        “Can I live?”

If you just so happen to live in the lovely DC Metro Area, then you have definitely had the honor of being stranded for hours at a time on endless highway in…..TRAFFIC. I hate it. Abhor it. And so eagerly wish it would cease….I mean really, what CAUSES TRAFFIC?

So, I’m driving to my dad’s house in DC (I live MUCH further south), and I have the sudden urge to use the restroom. #FAIL. Not just the urge where you know you can hold it for another 30 – 45 minutes..oh no, this is the urge where if I don’t go immediately “it’s” going to let go FOR me. So I try to plan ahead, have a set plan of action if an emergency arises and I have to pull over and go to a gas station or hotel or SOMETHING. The only problem…I’m sitting in 395 N traffic, on a saturday, in the middle lane, with a 2 year old in the car. Yep, I’m screwed. The funny thing about this area is that DMV traffic is not like anyother kind of traffic, where you just KNOW the reason must be an accident, scheduled construction, temporary blockage of a lane. NOPE. In this area the main source of traffic comes from………………..

1. A police car that pulled someone over on the side of the road.

I can NOT for the life of me understand why people feel the need to immediately slam on their breaks because they see a police car…on the side of the road…that pulled SOMEONE ELSE over…..10 cars ahead. This makes me question the mental capacity of the driver at question, and I immediately proceed to put my turn signal on to change lanes. I don’t need another driver’s stupidity and lack of intelligence to be the cause of my demise. I know I’m not the only person who realizes that if the policeman/woman apprehended someone ELSE, chances are they aren’t checking for YOU going 5 over the speed limit. #whogoncheckmeboo? I guess common sense aint so common.   

2. People talking on their phones.

I’m human. I can admit that I occasionally talk on my phone while driving. But I will NOT however forget that I am behind the wheel of the vehicle. That’s just ridiculous. I thought we as a society had evolved successfully into having the ability to properly multitask. If you can’t focus on the road maybe you should consider …ummm… NOT TALKING ON THE PHONE. Now you have 20 cars behind you that want to throw rocks at your window because they can’t pass you. Does that make you feel powerful? Ugghh..

3. Elderly people and/or New drivers that don’t realize they are going 40 in a 65.

Speaks for itself.


4. Stupidity.

Slow driving. Cutting people off only to drive even slower than the person you were behind. Rain. Snow. Fog. A slight breeze. Any reason that has anything remotely to do with the weather is ALWAYS cause for traffic. I don’t get it.

So thankfully I made to DC before my body did “it’s functions”.….(I’m too old to be explaining accidents!) But I realized I needed to start catching the Metro and maybe consider investing in a bicycle. My sanity is seriously depleting. It’s to the point now where I plan events, trips and things I do during the day AROUND heavy traffic hours. It’s sad. #Kanyeshrug.

Does anyone else hate traffic as much as I do? What are the REAL reasons that traffic occur?? Is anyone selling a bike?


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