Black Girl Rant #6: Like Crabs In A Bucket..

..some would rather kill themselves trying to keep others down, rather than to use that same effort to try to claw to the top with them. A shame.

I was just recently talking to a guy that I had met about 2 years ago. Of course the situation started out great, we just meshed. Or so it seemed. He turned out to be the most draining, needy, and manipulative individual I had ever met in my life. The crazy thing about the situation though was that I just couldn’t seem to leave him alone. He was such a parasite, and I knew it, but I just couldn’t pull myself away from the situation. I couldn’t let it go until finally he said to me over the phone…

I do just enough to keep you around. You’re a really good girl, but you know I ain’t ready to be in a relationship right now…I know I’m fucked up, but I don’t want you to go and find someone else…

o_O    really ninja?

That’s what’s hot in the streets?

Not only did this ignorant ass negroe not want to commit to me, he also was full of sh!t and knew it, AND he didn’t want me to meet someone a real man who would treat me right. Some people have the audacity to believe that their own emotional baggage is more important than anything else in their life, and is important to others as well. He made me laugh that day, and everyday after that. I promptly erased his number and suggested that he never call me again. Not in those words, but you get the point.  No one is ever worth giving up your happiness, you should never give anyone the power to pull you down to their negative level. It took me awhile to realize certain things, but I’m glad I eventually learned. Misery loves company….and when it knocks, I try not to be home.

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4 Responses to Black Girl Rant #6: Like Crabs In A Bucket..

  1. Spring says:

    “Misery loves company”. Why weren’t you smart enough to realize that was the situation with this individual; were there no signs are you blind? It wasn’t until he told you he wasn’t ready to be in a realtionship that you suddenly had an epiphany. People often think that it is those around them who are “trying” bring them down when it is evident that YOU contributed to his efforts “I couldn’t seem to leave him alone…I knew it but just coudnt pull myslef from the situation” so if misery loves company from the looks of it you enjoyed being that company.

  2. Spring says:

    Me perfect? No; no one is. Nevertheless, is is evident that you need to catch up on life’s lessons since you’re “recently” realizing that misery loves company. Being that you were that company for a period of time you may still embody the very “misery” you speak about & not realize it [you come across quite bitter in some of your post] & you’re welcome.

    • DietyNoyota says:

      I’m reminded of a song ‘everybody plays the fool’. Meaning there’s a time in everyone’s life when he/she has to endure such trials with miserable people, in order to learn on his or her own that this is not the type of relationship he or she should be engaged in.

      Everyone (no matter who you are) have experienced one ‘bad apple’ when dating; prior to meeting that man or women you’re current evolved in a relationships. As far as we know, you may still be with that bad apple, and not know it yet. But these experiences that you have with those ‘bad apples’ is what assist us as individuals with better appreciating the fruitful relationships we cherish, with those who enhance us.

      What I mean by ‘fruitful’ is someone who understands that being humble doesn’t mean being a door mat and that there is no declared ‘winner’ in an argument. Fruitful people render the same respect that he/she expects to receive; and they realize that there’s more than just ‘them’ in a relationship. But no one becomes ‘fruitful’ over night; they have to play the role of both the ‘fool’ and the one who’s fooling someone else in order to value the delicate fabrics that incorporates happiness between two people. And the mystery ingredients for a recipe of blissful abundance will not be discovered until someone (such as the poster) lives through the experiences she’s endured. And I’m sure you yourself at one point in time had to live through these things as well in order to gain this rare yet valued knowledge. Every day lived is another lesson learned, and obviously you still have a lot to learn about life and people if you think you have the world figured out 😉

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