“awwww…black love infactuation”
SO, maybe im not the easiest person to get along with. Or maybe my attitude ISNT at its best 24/7. Eh, maybe I CAN be a little rude and abbrasive to people when its not warranted. But, aside from all of those things i’ve learned alot from being single black female. IT SUCKS. Now, dont get me wrong, i’m not one of those females who falls into relationships to avoid being single. And lord KNOWs i’m definitely not one to thrive on male attention, or be bitter about past experiences that i’ve gone through with men. No bag lady am I. NOPE. Behind all of the razor wire and cement lies a huge heart…AWW shut the hell up. And recently I have found someone to make me smile. Not smile like “aww he’s cute”, but really smile because i’m happy. deeply happy….”lol smiley face”. It may sound corny, but not alot of men these days are actual men gentlemen, and even more are in fear of communication. But miraculously I have found those things in this one person and then some. Maybe its a little early to say it will stay this way…but WHATEVS, i’m feeling good about it for now. But the point of this post is DEFINITELY not to gas his head up, but rather to explain some things i’ve learned about myself while going through this whole process of finding someone that makes me smile. He’s slowly melting my heart…Congratulations, YOU SUCK!
#1: Don’t stand in your own way.
Nothing is worse than seeing a female who will do anything to get a mans attention. Sleeping with a guy will definitely NOT make him walk away after humping a late night with you thinking “damn homie, i need to wife her RIGHT NOW!”. Chances are he is thinking the total opposite. Some females should just master being and loving themselves, because in the history of man real has ALWAYS recognized real. ALWAYS. Also, some people should be more optimistic in their lifestyles. Who wants to be with someone who is depressed and miserable all the damn time. I know I don’t, that ish is NOT whats hot in the streets. So please people, step out of the way of yourselves. Let someone break those walls of china down. ASAP.
#2: First impressions ARE important.
Think before you speak. Check your actions. Brush your teeth regularly. Iron your damn clothes! Although these things may sound very obvious, you would be so suprised at the number of people I know who dont know/do this. Whatever the occasion, always be prepared. As sad it may seem people judge you within the first 5 minutes of meeting you. How you carry yourself will make a huge impact on how people deal with you. Some people kill me thinking that they can fake and pretend their way into someone liking their personality. Fakeness has the stench of a effin skunk, so before you open your mouth with ish just make sure you brush your teeth afterwards. I commend a man who can be blatantly honest with me about things while still showing compassion (wink wink). It must be a learned skill..lol
#3: Don’t ignore the RED FLAGS!
If a man tells you he doesn’t want a girlfriend, and you know deep down you are looking for a relationship…RUN!
If a man tells you he has a crazy ex, and he can’t leave her alone because of X-Y-Z…RUN!
If he treats his momma like poo…RUN!
If he only calls you between the hours of 10pm-7am to come watch a “movie”…RUN!
Your intuition screams at you when something isn’t right, and more often than not if it doesnt sound/look/feel right it usually isn’t. So drop him like diddy’s pant..Just sayin.
#4: Keep your standards realistic.
Self-explanatory. You can’t walk into a luxury dealership with Hundai money and expect to walk out with a top of the line Bugatti. By no means am I saying settle for anyone with good D looks, I’m just stating that you can only ask for what you are giving. I’ve had so many conversations with females who will only want to date guys with degrees, nice cars, own place, no kids…BUT they stay with big mama, take the bus, and have 3 kids. CAH-RAZY. Enough said.
#5: NO ONE is perfect.
No man/woman is perfect. It’s just a matching game of which personalities fit together the best. Everyone makes mistakes, everyone has a past. Judging based on instances that occured before the person met you is so elementary. I live by the mantra “I am perfectly, imperfect”. So either like them or leave them alone. No one is a magical wizard, you CAN NOT change anyone but yourself. Take heed.
Anymore advice for those coping with single life? Did I miss any key elements of mastering the dating game? Does anyone agree with my key points? Is it different for men and women?