Black Girl Rant #6: Like Crabs In A Bucket..

..some would rather kill themselves trying to keep others down, rather than to use that same effort to try to claw to the top with them. A shame.

I was just recently talking to a guy that I had met about 2 years ago. Of course the situation started out great, we just meshed. Or so it seemed. He turned out to be the most draining, needy, and manipulative individual I had ever met in my life. The crazy thing about the situation though was that I just couldn’t seem to leave him alone. He was such a parasite, and I knew it, but I just couldn’t pull myself away from the situation. I couldn’t let it go until finally he said to me over the phone…

I do just enough to keep you around. You’re a really good girl, but you know I ain’t ready to be in a relationship right now…I know I’m fucked up, but I don’t want you to go and find someone else…

o_O    really ninja?

That’s what’s hot in the streets?

Not only did this ignorant ass negroe not want to commit to me, he also was full of sh!t and knew it, AND he didn’t want me to meet someone a real man who would treat me right. Some people have the audacity to believe that their own emotional baggage is more important than anything else in their life, and is important to others as well. He made me laugh that day, and everyday after that. I promptly erased his number and suggested that he never call me again. Not in those words, but you get the point.  No one is ever worth giving up your happiness, you should never give anyone the power to pull you down to their negative level. It took me awhile to realize certain things, but I’m glad I eventually learned. Misery loves company….and when it knocks, I try not to be home.

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Black Girl Rant #4 :The “New” Gangsta

                                                                                    SMH.  #KILLYOSELF …

They are everywhere. Lurking in the shadows with their big water guns and bags of oregano narcotics. They make us laugh cry when they brag and boast about the crimes they’ve committed…and no tresspassing is NOT a felonious crime! They sit in college stairwells….IN GROUPS!  :side eye:. Churches. High Schools, HELL…I just found out there were some in the Military (rep yo squad son!!) . Yes, I’m referring too…DUN DUN DUN …”Gangstas“. No, sadly  I’m not referencing Al Capone, Lucky Luciano, or the Gambinos…the REAL gangsters they RAN they shit! I’m talkin about the homo New Generation Thugs roaming the streets and taking over the media Drake, Lil Wayne, Plies…. SMH. Al Capone never wore skinny jeans when he was running the streets of the Big Apple. Frank Lucas wasn’t hiding behind the guise of Twitter and Facebook getting revenge on his enemies…that’s ridiculous…and also one of my main motivations for even attempting to write this post. It’s 2010 people..open a book! 

But I digress,  I’ve compiled reasons why these imposters are definitely NOT gangstas…. and I actually had to condense my list for the sake of this post…this generation is just so embarrassing….

231. Skinny Jeans and Smeduim Tees belong on cute little 14 year old girls who cut pictures out of magazines, NOT Gangstas…It probably took you twenty-three minutes just to squeeze into them. How do you feel like a man with jeans on that are tighter than mine. I can see the numbers on your bank card….through your wallet….and your jeans. Yea buddy, thats how tight they are. I wouldnt even be able to take a guy like that seriously…I can hear him say, ” Gimme all your money right now!” I would laugh and say “Your a JERK!” Doing the little hippity- hoppity dance thing they do…Boy go sit down.

232. Facebook is for socializing and NOT for you to threaten to “beat that ass” when you see them in the streets…thats not even considered verbal harassment…you TYPED IT! Laughable at best. Did you really feel like a man cussing them in your status?  That’s ignorant is what it is…GROW SOME CAHONES. What happened to the days of picking up bricks and smashing out heads windows?

233. Associating with people who are “gangstas” or are involved in a life of crime, does not mean that you are automatically one…it’s not gonna rub on you through osmosis. Your “mans-and-em” got 40 glocks and AKs…you dont. They smack people up if they dont get their money..you watch. Catch the drift? When has it ever been cool to risk your freedom so you can LOOK like a G? Oh, nevermind….thats why Lil Wayne is serving a year. I guess common sense isn’t so common…#kanyeshrug. 

234. The O.G.’s from 40- 50 years ago were actually smart…you on the other hand couldn’t sell a thong to a stripper. They had empires, and cars, and nice clothes. So why are you “slanging them thangs” out of your grandmom’s basement? That’s not very bright. Go read a law book. That is ALL I will say about that one.

Now, I am in no way condoning this “gangsterdom lifestyle” or “gangsterism” as a whole…I am just simply saying that some people need to stop trying so hard to be what they aren’t. There are so many other things people could be doing with their time, like reading a book, writing a short story….hell, go take a walk with an elderly person. But being a gangsta is NOT what’s hot in the streets….especially not homo fake one.

SN: Please tell me that video at the top didn’t make you think of Charlie Murphy getting his behind whooped in basketball by Prince? :memory courtesy of The Chapelle Show:

Ignorance Is Bliss…

                                                                             #EPICFAIL

Gucci Mane..BuRR. Weed. “ICE”. Overuse and ownership of the word N!66a. Moniques’ LOUD ass. Wendy Williams…How YOU doin?. Sammy Sosa. Record Label Pyramid Schemes. Youtube. Souljah Boy. Nicki Minaj…Hirojuku Barbie. Menthol Cigarettes. Black and Mild’s. Colt 45. Steel Reserve. Pimped out cars. Autotune. Diddy. The Cleveland Show. Meet The Browns. Baby Mommas. Reggie Bush. Tiger Woods. Haters. Becky. Purp. Precious. Black embarassment Television. Crack. Kool- Aid….should I continue? …

I digress.

The above are not things I blame for the demise of african american culture, just merely the things that further prove how much of a step back our society as a whole is currently taking. Every generation has their problems. Slavery, rights, equality those are just the tip of the iceberg of the stuggles that took decades to overcome and are still overcoming. The difference between then and now is the obvious ignorance of this generations problems now. The fight is no longer us vs. “them”, but is now ironically us vs. “us”. I know I may get many eye rolls and side eyes for my views, but as a person who reads about different cultures and beliefs I see more and more how sad the black race is becoming. We are probably one of very few races who is content with just “being”. We have had MANY accomplishments and milestones that very few have had the abiltity to achieve, but for every high there is a devestating low. Maybe I’m just speaking with no filter. so shoot me. Yes, it’s true, EVERY race has their downfalls…no one on God’s green earth is perfect. But dammit, there has to come a point when blacks come together to form a formidable alliance and not strive to become the most iciest.. BURR wealthy. Wealth is important in terms of influence, but knowledge is key to hold that power.

This rant was sparked by a conversation I had with some friends a couple of weeks ago. We were discussing something small and mundane, probably how devastingly hot it was after being so cold for so long gotta love the East Coast! But we got on the topic of politics and Obama:

Me: Did you read about Obama passing the healthcare bill? ..This is a historical moment for the United States.

Mr. No No: Nah,but I’ve heard bits and pieces.

Me: O ok, so from what you heard how do you feel about it?

Mr. No No: Free is always good…I dont give a damn as long as Obama approves it, I’M GOOD!

Me :side eye: seriously?

I can’t understand for the life of me how someone can know Gucci Mane’s ENTIRE Biographical history and every word to every mixtape he’s ever made, but won’t open a book to research topics that could potentially affect them FOR THE REST OF THEIR LIVES’ !!! O yea, I know why.

             So in essence, I just find it to be my civic duty to try and push my culture and generation forward and not help in the steady spiral backwards. Even if I affect a handful, its better than destroying the mentality of one.

Does anyone else feel like the images we view on a daily basis are detrimental? Is there any hope left? How do you help to better this generation?

Soundtrack of Life— Lesson #1:

            Its almost year’s end, as everyone is probably aware of this already, and I’ve been reflecting alot on my life, my past and my future. I love reading other blogs by people who have been doing this for awhile, and I considered doing something that I saw as a post on OneSmartBlack Man’s  My Two Cents Blog– A Soundtrack of Life. It made me wonder, if someone where to see my entire life up to this point, what feeling would they get about me? And even deeper, how do I feel about myself? What mood do I feel about the way things are going in my life right now, and where do I see it going? I try to be a kind of conscious individual, and I truly believe in constantly improving myself and my situation for the long run. This definitely won’t be the last, so enjoy my soundtrack for this period in my life…
Opening Credits: Kanye West – Champion
Waking Up: Sade – Cherish the Day
Average Day: Mary J. Blige – My Life
First Date: Jill Scott – Long Walk
Falling In Love: Talib Kweli- Never Been In Love
Love Scene: Foreign Exchange f/ Muhsinah – DayKeeper
Fight Scene: Mint Condition – Breaking My Heart
Breaking Up: Foreign Exchange – House of Cards
Getting Back Together: Chrisette Michelle – What you Do
Secret Love: Raphael Saadiq – Ask of You
Life’s Okay: Lil Wayne – Brand New
Mental Breakdown: Usher – Moving Mountains
Driving On: Goapele – Closer to My Dreams
Learning A Lesson: Mos Def – Priority
Deep Thought: 2Pac – Changes
Flashback: BrownStone – Grapevine
Partying: Gucci Mane – Wasted
Happy Dance: Lucy Pearl – Dance Tonight
Regretting: Aretha Franklin – A Rose
Long Night Alone: Chrisette Michelle – Blame It On Me
Death Scene: Drake – Last Hope
Closing Credits: Michael Jackson – Never Can Say GoodBye
SN: Thanks again OneSmartBlackMan….this really inspired me.
So who else has a good soundtrack? Or what song symbolizes a time in your life right now? Did this make anyone reflect on themselves?

League of “UN-extraordinary” Gentlemen

                                                                    “No bueno.”

             We are quickly approaching a New Year, 2010 is upon us. Thankfully, with a New Year brings new beginnings, new visions, new ways of thinking. I am not one to stand on a soap-box, declaring ALL men evil and undatable…but damn, in the DC area it’s almost impossible to find a “decent” man to call your own. “Decent” meaning not gay, involved seriously with someone, or without excessive baggage. These are hard times man..we are in a damn recession, so people need to buckle down and not waste time on these unnecessary leeches of time and energy. These men I have labeled…dun dun dun…The League of UN-extraordinary Gentlemen.

             These men are everywhere you are, sitting next to you in class, at the grocery store, or you may even be friends with them on Facebook, Twitter, or some other form of social crack media. I have had the personal disadvantage of being involved in some way with one or more of these characters, but fortunately I have the common sense to know how to not repeat my mistakes..(Thank you mom for the common sense lessons!) ..Whatever the case may be we as women need to know the signs to avoid and the nasty leeches to detach from permanently before they drain us of our youth and beauty. All need to be avoided like the plague, and some banished from society until further notice…do not pass go and DO NOT collect 200 dollars…

“Mr. Rebound”- This guy is anxoius to get over the ex that did him wrong. Prove a point. Settle a grudge. Whatever the case may be,  these particular men multiply like gremlins in this area. So anxoius to “dive deep” into another situation with a different female, they arent able to witness the weight of their own baggage. A female can usually notice a few key red flags within the first couple of weeks of going out with this guy. He may constantly make a point to detail all of the flaws his ex may have had, claiming that those were all the things he despised. Or he may be the weirdo that subconsciously describes all the things that you do that reminds him of her…In either case ditch this dodo bird. He is not worth the time or energy due to the fact that he is not over her, this situation is destined to no-where-fast-ville very quickly. THERE ARE SNAKES ON THIS PLANE!! 

“Mr. Afraid of Growing Up Committment” – In my opinion these men deserve the least amount of respect. Atleast the other men can get a mini pass due to the fact that their ignorance and lack of common sense is clouding their judgement. But this ninja right here is KNOWINGLY doing things to sabotage a situation, or lack thereof. SMH. This guy will do all the things a boyfriend would do and more, but will NEVER put a label on it out of “fear”. He will take the female out on dates, has deep conversations about life, even goes so far as being totally exclusive to said female. But mention the thought of a relationship and they lose it under the pressure like Tiger Woods behind the wheel of his SUV on the night he “dropped the ball”. I crack myself up.  But all jokes aside, I personally feel as though no one is afraid of committment, thats bull. This man is just a control freak, a control freak that wants someone else to be vulnerable and powerless while they manipulate the situation to their benefit. I.E, childish. This is a horrible cycle to break..boy meets girl, boy “acts” like a boyfriend to girl, girl falls for boy, boy backs away, girl stops investing time and loses respect for guy, guy feels threatened, and meets another girl to fall into the same cycle all over. The point to all of this is to run quickly from these guys..they need time to sit in a corner to wait until their balls drop a little more to take risks and learn lessons in life. Just sayin. You can’t take over the world Pinky, GET OVER IT.

“Mr. GQ” – This is the guy that feels like his brand new 2010 model Lexus, and condo in the city entitles him to any female he wants. Negative. They lack a grasp on reality, he is definitely “tricking cause he got it”. As attractive as these men may be and successful as he may seem, more than likely these are the ones that are the most insecure and are trying to feel a serious void. On top of that, he probably adores the attention females give him for all of his  material possesions, thus giving a reason not to commit. You may notice that he is constantly bragging about all of his irrelevant possessions, and more than likely has no real personality or depth. These guys try so hard to prove how much they can spend and what they have, that they dont realize that a conversation with them is like talking to your OBGYN during a regular exam. UGGGHH…what a waste.

“Mr. Disappearing Act”- I have never personally been in this situation but I have had conversations with females that have. How and why this occurs I may never know or care. But these guys are the ones who will go months without calling, texting, or even emailing..and then out of the blue will suddenly call wanting to “chill”. Where-they-do-that-at? Definitely not over here..thats ridiculous. Our generation has absolutely no couth or purpose sometimes. I jokingly told my friend that maybe the guy got kidnapped and was fighting for his life on some deserted island for months and that maybe  she was the first person he wanted to see when he swam to freedom. She didnt laugh.  #Kanyeshrug

“Mr. Last Year”- This situation is possibly due to some glitch in the matrix, and needs to be corrected ASAP. This is the ex that USE to be good and for some reason the situation ended. But over and over again he keeps coming back into the picture. Usually he hasn’t accepted the fact that you have let go, and due to the extreme comfortability of the situation you allow him to stay around. The situation is a recipe for disaster for all parties involved. Recycling men due to weakness is a no-go for 2010… Do like Whitney Houston did, just let it all go.

Are there any other men that need to be avoided like the plague? I’m sure women fall into these categories also, so men did I miss anything? Are there hybrids to these labels?

Why am I an Oreo?

:courtesy of urbandictionary.com:

    >Oreo:  A black person who is regarded as having adopted the attitudes, values, and behaviors thought to be     characteristics of middle class white society, often at the expense of his or her own heritage.<

SO I dare to ask this question again, Why am I an Oreo? Why do you feel the need to call me a freakin cookie? I’m a little confused as to why for some odd reason you have the neverending obsession with comparing me to the likeness of a piece of food? With creme filling?? Is it because I choose to talk PROPER english? Maybe it’s because I wear clothes that fit and arent disgustingly revealing? I don’t know, is it the way i walk? The way you envy the fact that I was taught to save  my money and spend it on things that will perhaps benefit me in some way in the future? Is it because I think about my future? Is it because I have a job that I’m certified in? Is it because instead of me pretending to be “down”, i continue to be myself? Is it because I don’t live in the city? Is the suburbs not good enough? Is it because I was taught to say deficate and urinate instead of being vulgar and rude? Is it because when I had basketball games and recitals in grade school BOTH parents showed up? Maybe its because of the way I react to stressful situations? Did my grades influence your decision? Or the fact that I graduated from highschool when I was supposed to? DOES IT MATTER? NOPE.

I’m sick of it, I’m not an Oreo! I’m someone who was taught that first impressions last a lifetime. I am a product of a household that instilled in me early in life the importance of upholding my family’s name. Often I wondered when I was young, if being an Oreo was something to be proud of. I mean, everyone said it to me and I never really understood the significance of the word. Black people should really try to give our race credit where it is certainly due. Our race has been in the forefront of entertainment, music [side eye] , sports, and most recently politics amongst many other realms for many years now. It’s crazy to me that instead of saying ” Gee, that young woman is doing well, I’m proud she is helping to lay the foundation for our generation”..all I hear is “umph, she talks/acts SO damn white..effin Oreo”. Gee, thanks. Black Power… #fail.

#kanyeshrug..oh well, your either considered Souljah Boy or Collin Powell…fluck it.