Black Girl Rant #6: Like Crabs In A Bucket..

..some would rather kill themselves trying to keep others down, rather than to use that same effort to try to claw to the top with them. A shame.

I was just recently talking to a guy that I had met about 2 years ago. Of course the situation started out great, we just meshed. Or so it seemed. He turned out to be the most draining, needy, and manipulative individual I had ever met in my life. The crazy thing about the situation though was that I just couldn’t seem to leave him alone. He was such a parasite, and I knew it, but I just couldn’t pull myself away from the situation. I couldn’t let it go until finally he said to me over the phone…

I do just enough to keep you around. You’re a really good girl, but you know I ain’t ready to be in a relationship right now…I know I’m fucked up, but I don’t want you to go and find someone else…

o_O    really ninja?

That’s what’s hot in the streets?

Not only did this ignorant ass negroe not want to commit to me, he also was full of sh!t and knew it, AND he didn’t want me to meet someone a real man who would treat me right. Some people have the audacity to believe that their own emotional baggage is more important than anything else in their life, and is important to others as well. He made me laugh that day, and everyday after that. I promptly erased his number and suggested that he never call me again. Not in those words, but you get the point.  No one is ever worth giving up your happiness, you should never give anyone the power to pull you down to their negative level. It took me awhile to realize certain things, but I’m glad I eventually learned. Misery loves company….and when it knocks, I try not to be home.

Advertisements

Black Girl Rant #4 :The “New” Gangsta

                                                                                    SMH.  #KILLYOSELF …

They are everywhere. Lurking in the shadows with their big water guns and bags of oregano narcotics. They make us laugh cry when they brag and boast about the crimes they’ve committed…and no tresspassing is NOT a felonious crime! They sit in college stairwells….IN GROUPS!  :side eye:. Churches. High Schools, HELL…I just found out there were some in the Military (rep yo squad son!!) . Yes, I’m referring too…DUN DUN DUN …”Gangstas“. No, sadly  I’m not referencing Al Capone, Lucky Luciano, or the Gambinos…the REAL gangsters they RAN they shit! I’m talkin about the homo New Generation Thugs roaming the streets and taking over the media Drake, Lil Wayne, Plies…. SMH. Al Capone never wore skinny jeans when he was running the streets of the Big Apple. Frank Lucas wasn’t hiding behind the guise of Twitter and Facebook getting revenge on his enemies…that’s ridiculous…and also one of my main motivations for even attempting to write this post. It’s 2010 people..open a book! 

But I digress,  I’ve compiled reasons why these imposters are definitely NOT gangstas…. and I actually had to condense my list for the sake of this post…this generation is just so embarrassing….

231. Skinny Jeans and Smeduim Tees belong on cute little 14 year old girls who cut pictures out of magazines, NOT Gangstas…It probably took you twenty-three minutes just to squeeze into them. How do you feel like a man with jeans on that are tighter than mine. I can see the numbers on your bank card….through your wallet….and your jeans. Yea buddy, thats how tight they are. I wouldnt even be able to take a guy like that seriously…I can hear him say, ” Gimme all your money right now!” I would laugh and say “Your a JERK!” Doing the little hippity- hoppity dance thing they do…Boy go sit down.

232. Facebook is for socializing and NOT for you to threaten to “beat that ass” when you see them in the streets…thats not even considered verbal harassment…you TYPED IT! Laughable at best. Did you really feel like a man cussing them in your status?  That’s ignorant is what it is…GROW SOME CAHONES. What happened to the days of picking up bricks and smashing out heads windows?

233. Associating with people who are “gangstas” or are involved in a life of crime, does not mean that you are automatically one…it’s not gonna rub on you through osmosis. Your “mans-and-em” got 40 glocks and AKs…you dont. They smack people up if they dont get their money..you watch. Catch the drift? When has it ever been cool to risk your freedom so you can LOOK like a G? Oh, nevermind….thats why Lil Wayne is serving a year. I guess common sense isn’t so common…#kanyeshrug. 

234. The O.G.’s from 40- 50 years ago were actually smart…you on the other hand couldn’t sell a thong to a stripper. They had empires, and cars, and nice clothes. So why are you “slanging them thangs” out of your grandmom’s basement? That’s not very bright. Go read a law book. That is ALL I will say about that one.

Now, I am in no way condoning this “gangsterdom lifestyle” or “gangsterism” as a whole…I am just simply saying that some people need to stop trying so hard to be what they aren’t. There are so many other things people could be doing with their time, like reading a book, writing a short story….hell, go take a walk with an elderly person. But being a gangsta is NOT what’s hot in the streets….especially not homo fake one.

SN: Please tell me that video at the top didn’t make you think of Charlie Murphy getting his behind whooped in basketball by Prince? :memory courtesy of The Chapelle Show:

Ignorance Is Bliss…

                                                                             #EPICFAIL

Gucci Mane..BuRR. Weed. “ICE”. Overuse and ownership of the word N!66a. Moniques’ LOUD ass. Wendy Williams…How YOU doin?. Sammy Sosa. Record Label Pyramid Schemes. Youtube. Souljah Boy. Nicki Minaj…Hirojuku Barbie. Menthol Cigarettes. Black and Mild’s. Colt 45. Steel Reserve. Pimped out cars. Autotune. Diddy. The Cleveland Show. Meet The Browns. Baby Mommas. Reggie Bush. Tiger Woods. Haters. Becky. Purp. Precious. Black embarassment Television. Crack. Kool- Aid….should I continue? …

I digress.

The above are not things I blame for the demise of african american culture, just merely the things that further prove how much of a step back our society as a whole is currently taking. Every generation has their problems. Slavery, rights, equality those are just the tip of the iceberg of the stuggles that took decades to overcome and are still overcoming. The difference between then and now is the obvious ignorance of this generations problems now. The fight is no longer us vs. “them”, but is now ironically us vs. “us”. I know I may get many eye rolls and side eyes for my views, but as a person who reads about different cultures and beliefs I see more and more how sad the black race is becoming. We are probably one of very few races who is content with just “being”. We have had MANY accomplishments and milestones that very few have had the abiltity to achieve, but for every high there is a devestating low. Maybe I’m just speaking with no filter. so shoot me. Yes, it’s true, EVERY race has their downfalls…no one on God’s green earth is perfect. But dammit, there has to come a point when blacks come together to form a formidable alliance and not strive to become the most iciest.. BURR wealthy. Wealth is important in terms of influence, but knowledge is key to hold that power.

This rant was sparked by a conversation I had with some friends a couple of weeks ago. We were discussing something small and mundane, probably how devastingly hot it was after being so cold for so long gotta love the East Coast! But we got on the topic of politics and Obama:

Me: Did you read about Obama passing the healthcare bill? ..This is a historical moment for the United States.

Mr. No No: Nah,but I’ve heard bits and pieces.

Me: O ok, so from what you heard how do you feel about it?

Mr. No No: Free is always good…I dont give a damn as long as Obama approves it, I’M GOOD!

Me :side eye: seriously?

I can’t understand for the life of me how someone can know Gucci Mane’s ENTIRE Biographical history and every word to every mixtape he’s ever made, but won’t open a book to research topics that could potentially affect them FOR THE REST OF THEIR LIVES’ !!! O yea, I know why.

             So in essence, I just find it to be my civic duty to try and push my culture and generation forward and not help in the steady spiral backwards. Even if I affect a handful, its better than destroying the mentality of one.

Does anyone else feel like the images we view on a daily basis are detrimental? Is there any hope left? How do you help to better this generation?

Congratulations…YOU suck!

“awwww…black love infactuation”

SO, maybe im not the easiest person to get along with. Or maybe my attitude ISNT at its best 24/7. Eh, maybe I CAN be a little rude and abbrasive to people when its not warranted. But, aside from all of those things i’ve learned alot from being single black female. IT SUCKS. Now, dont get me wrong, i’m not one of those females who falls into relationships to avoid being single. And lord KNOWs i’m definitely not one to thrive on male attention, or be bitter about past experiences that i’ve gone through with men. No bag lady am I. NOPE.  Behind all of the razor wire and cement lies a huge heart…AWW shut the hell up. And recently I have found someone to make me smile. Not smile like “aww he’s cute”, but really smile because i’m happy. deeply happy….”lol smiley face”. It may sound corny, but not alot of men these days are actual men gentlemen, and even more are in fear of communication. But miraculously I have found those things in this one person and then some. Maybe its a little early to say it will stay this way…but WHATEVS, i’m feeling good about it for now. But the point of this post is DEFINITELY not to gas his head up, but rather to explain some things i’ve learned about myself while going through this whole process of finding someone that makes me smile. He’s slowly melting my heart…Congratulations, YOU SUCK!

#1: Don’t stand in your own way.

Nothing is worse than seeing a female who will do anything to get a mans attention. Sleeping with a guy will definitely NOT make him walk away after humping a late night with you thinking “damn homie, i need to wife her RIGHT NOW!”. Chances are he is thinking the total opposite. Some females should just master being and loving themselves, because in the history of man real has ALWAYS recognized real. ALWAYS. Also, some people should be more optimistic in their lifestyles. Who wants to be with someone who is depressed and miserable all the damn time. I know I don’t, that ish is NOT whats hot in the streets. So please people, step out of the way of yourselves. Let someone break those walls of china down. ASAP.

#2: First impressions ARE important.

Think before you speak. Check your actions. Brush your teeth regularly. Iron your damn clothes! Although these things may sound very obvious, you would be so suprised at the number of people I know who dont know/do this. Whatever the occasion, always be prepared. As sad it may seem people judge you within the first 5 minutes of meeting you. How you carry yourself will make a huge impact on how people deal with you. Some people kill me thinking that they can fake and pretend their way into someone liking their personality. Fakeness has the stench of a effin skunk, so before you open your mouth with ish just make sure you brush your teeth afterwards. I commend a man who can be blatantly honest with me about things while still showing compassion (wink wink). It must be a learned skill..lol

#3: Don’t ignore the RED FLAGS!

If a man tells you he doesn’t want a girlfriend, and you know deep down you are looking for a relationship…RUN!

If a man tells you he has a crazy ex, and he can’t leave her alone because of X-Y-Z…RUN!

If he treats his momma like poo…RUN!

If he only calls you between the hours of 10pm-7am to come watch a “movie”…RUN!

Your intuition screams at you when something isn’t right, and more often than not if it doesnt sound/look/feel right it usually isn’t. So drop him like diddy’s pant..Just sayin.

#4: Keep your standards realistic.

Self-explanatory. You can’t walk into a luxury dealership with Hundai money and expect to walk out with a top of the line Bugatti. By no means am I saying settle for anyone with good D looks, I’m just stating that you can only ask for what you are giving. I’ve had so many conversations with females who will only want to date guys with degrees, nice cars, own place, no kids…BUT they stay with big mama, take the bus, and have 3 kids. CAH-RAZY. Enough said.

#5: NO ONE is perfect.

No man/woman is perfect. It’s just a matching game of which personalities fit together the best. Everyone makes mistakes, everyone has a past. Judging based on instances that occured before the person met you is so elementary. I live by the mantra “I am perfectly, imperfect”. So either like them or leave them alone. No one is a magical wizard, you CAN NOT change anyone but yourself. Take heed.

Anymore advice for those coping with single life? Did I miss any key elements of mastering the dating game? Does anyone agree with my key points? Is it different for men and women?

Somebody had to say it..

I have a couple of things to rant about today. Geezus, so much has been going on in this rollercoaster of a life of mine. People coming and going out of craziness, all this crazy ish in the media, the people I meet…..:sigh: But although I see so much, I try so hard to keep my compusure and remain professional at all times, because in reality I am in no position to judge ANYONE. :cough:bullshint:cough: But urrrummm yea..and heeeerrre we go:

Insecure Men/Women-

Why, oh why did someone appoint me the official magnet of wackdom? I mean damn, is there a sticky note on my back attracting all those deemed unworthy of confidence?? I always feel like the wackest men try to date , and the wackest women often hate. Now by wack I mean insecure, and by insecure I mean need to stay-at-home-on-the-couch-sitting-indian-style-watching-bambi-while-eating-popcorn type issues. The issues that make you want to slap them until they black out. YES. I mean really, I personally feel I am too damn old for a guy to be worried about what I’m doing when I’m not in his presence. Not everyone cheats, and if a guy doesnt trust  females based on past experiences, he may need to let his  balls guard drop enough to realize the world is NOT, I repeat, is NOT against him..just me. :jay-z-on to the next one: Females, :sigh:.. its become a trend for females to constantly pick apart a fellow female they see in the club, mall, gas station, eh..even church. Does it make you look anymore attractive than what you did before you talked ish? NOT so much. Does it really matter that her jeans are too tight and she can hardly breathe? NOPE. Does it affect you that she’s wearing a lace front hat wig that talks to you when u look at it too hard cough:beyonce:cough:? NOPE. My point exactly. GROW UP.

Rihanna vs. Chris Brown aka WWIII-

Yes, I watched the damn 20/20 interview. Yes, it further made me realize how much I dislike her. And YES I will STILL buy Graffiti when it comes out in Dec. I’m just gonna keep this short and sweet. FIRST OF ALL, the whole fight that night occured over a TEXT MESSAGE! ..SMH..Which further proves my insecure male/female argument above. i.e grown up! SECOND, I absolutely agree that Chris Brown was 100% wrong for beating that girl the way he did. But like my father told me growing up: you give a lick, you take a lick- and by lick I mean hit (pause) So, if she felt froggy enough to jump up, she got taught a VERY valuable lesson that night….(just sayin)

:drops the mic, and walks away slowly with my middle finger in the air:

Sammy Sosa-

SMH. When Martin Luther King said for all black and white people to come together as one, he definitely didn’t mean in the same body Sammy.No effin words.

Invented Sex Video- Trey Songs aka yes-I-would-anyday-of-the-week!

I would first like to say that I was formerly a bordering Trey Songs fan, due to the fact that he changed alot from when he first came on the scene. But this video…”this ish right heeeere n!gga”….MAN! I commend him as an artist, because he sings beautifully. But I swear I cant watch it more than once in a week. Enough said, I need a cold shower.

SN: the lesson for the day is – 1. Grow up! 2. keep your hands to yourself. 3. BLACK is beautiful 4. Yes, I did. Go ahead, admit it…lol

If only you knew…and more.

I have so many diverse conversations with different people every day. At work is the more professional, work environment type, at home with my friends is the more home-girl-on-the-block-hand-me-a-brewski type, and with the parents is the innocent angel type of conversation. But, what I have discovered is that no matter who I am having the conversation with the same comments and situations still sneak and slither their way into dialogue. Yes, in very different ways, but still occur at some point in the conversation nonetheless. I am not writing this to offend anyone, but only to address my observations in everyday life. I just dont understand our society anymore…SMH.  

PET PEEVE #1: People who insult my damn intelligence.

While at work:

Me: So I’m thinking about buying a house, I’m so tired of renting and the housing market is looking good right now.

Know-it-all: Oh really, where are you looking to buy ? In the (insert VERY low income neighborhood) area?

Me: Actually, I was looking in (insert upper middle class neighborhood), I don’t want to settle for just anything, and I’ve saved a lot so I deserve it.

Know-it-all: OH REALLY?  Wow, I have a 2nd cousin once removed who lives in that exact area, they just bought a home over there recently.  Those homes ARE pretty nice. But, uuum are  sure you can afford that by yourself? I mean maybe you should try looking  in a less expensive area. (smirk) I’m just sayin…

Me:    sigh:SIDE EYE: (at this point I was trying hard not stab this person in the face with a    pencil) Yea,  I think I got this. Now shut the hell up with your dumbass!  I’ve done my research already…muthaflucka.

I am sure everyone reading this has come into contact with a dumbass person who thought they knew everything about EVERYTHING! I mean really, who installed that encyclopedia chip in your head at birth?! I need one ASAP! And secondly, instead of trying to undermine my future endeavors, would it hurt you to just say goodluck?..People try hard to overthink , and undercut  others when they are insecure of their own situations. I just don’t understand people now a days..I just don’t get it.

 

PET PEEVE #2: Liars

While relaxing with a potential new boo:

Me: I see you got a new tattoo on your chest. That’s nice…what does SNB stand for?

Mr-not-so-slick-fox: Oh, umm that? That’s just my grandmother’s initials.

Me: Aww, that’s so sweet!

Mr-not-so-slick-fox: yea…oh yea…you know how I do. (smile)

No sir. I DON’T know how you do… So, two weeks later I find out through a mutual friend that those letters on his chest…yea…his “ex” girlfriend’s initials. Yea. I still don’t understand for the life of me, how this dumbass person had the audacity to not only get another person’s initials (not in his family) tattooed on his body, not to mention his “exes” initials, AND THEN try to be all up under me as if the situation was kosher. Actually, I can understand. I retract that statement. See, the problem with guys is that instead of being upfront about the situation in the beginning, they like to  prolong the drama. At least give ME the option as to whether or not I want to still let you take me out for drinks. Me and homeboy could’ve  chucked the deuces two weeks earlier. He probably also could’ve saved the embarrassment of finding out the mutual friend was banging his “ex” by not getting the tattoo at all..he who laughs last…

PET PEEVE #3: Guys who measure my beauty by my skin color.

Mr-ignorant: You are sexy, and you have a beautiful face for a dark skinned girl..

Me: Gee…thanks. (as I walk away while giving him the finger)

Mr-ignorant: Shit.

If there is one thing I hate about our generation it’s the fact that we break each other down by skin color even more than was seen 30 or 40 years ago. I think the comment made by Young Berg about his dislike for “dark-butts” …coonery at its finest, made the situation come to light even more for me. It’s disgusting to think that some guys look at a group of females and single out the dark skinned from the light skinned ones. Beauty is beauty, no matter the shade…or lack thereof. When will these niggas men realize that although the outside looks likes platinum, inside may just be aluminum foil… But I guess real recognize real, so where are the MEN who appreciate a real WOMAN, and not just a shade of color?