Blog Challenge: Day 5 of 60..

Day: 5   The world would be a better place if we could just…

                     “…Have the power to let power go…” – – – Kanye

Let’s face it, everyone wants to be in control of something or someone, sometimes even both. In reality though,  alot of things and situations are out of an individuals control. Some situations are just meant to be lessons, and tools for growth. Micro-managing and attempting to regulate things above a certain threshold  in order to maintain control can be often times be detrimental. Not just harmful to the person who can’t relax, but also to the surrounding people who are forced to cater to the “controller”. It’s a never ending cycle of insanity. It’s takes a strong person to be able to sit back and allow situations to just happen naturally. It takes no effort at all to be a damn control freak. Although letting power go has its good sides, it can also be a person’s downfall if they exert an excess amount of it. Some people get a little too carried away with this concept.

I digress, listed are a  few reasons why the world would be a better place if people could just have the power to let power go….

The divorce rate would be alot lower in America.

Alot of people truly believe that giving up some sort of power or control over their lives means that are ultimately being weak, or less than. The problem with alot of marriages nowadays is that people jump like cracked out base jumpers into them with both people having the inital intentions of being the “chief”. It’s important to accept the fact that sometimes its okay to trust in others enough to not want to have sole power or control over them. I’m not married..So I don’t know how these things work.

The Government would be alot more efficient and proactive.

Another case of tooooooo many damn Chiefs and not enough Indians. Everyone wants to use their power to make changes in policy. More good than bad…almost all without foresight. Why are we in a damn recession? oh yea….no one man should have all that power. Period.

The troops would be home with their OWN families.

We are basically playing a tug of war game with the Middle East. The lives of the powerless are on the lines while the ones with all the power are at home eating popcorn and watching movies with the kiddies. #Whenkeepingitrealgoeswrong .

There would be more schools in America than prisons.  

Long, long ago in a land  far away, someone with a ridiculous amount of power decided that it would be more beneficial for society if they just invested all of their money, hopes, and dreams into the American prison system. In essence, it seems alot more beneficial for someone with power to control those in prison than it is to predict the success rate of a brand new school. Instead of looking into the future, some would just rather bank on others failures. I feel motivated to be raising a child in this generation, how about you?

No one man should have all that power
The clock’s tickin’, I just count the hours
Stop trippin’, I’m trippin’ off the power
‘Til then, f-ck that, the World’s ours

                                                                  “Power”

Blog Challenge: Day 4 of 60…

A picture of somewhere you’ve been to.

                                                                  Busboys and Poets : 14th and Vst location

I fell in love with you from the moment  I saw you. The way you smelled of fresh baked bread. Your massive size. Mostimportantly, the beautiful words you spoke into my heart and made me melt. I have never found another to replace you, and I doubt I ever will…..

….but I digress….

This place truly has it all, an extensive bookstore, a huge bar, comfy couches, tables for studying mens, intimate booths….and more importantly….the infamous Langston Hughes Room. This particular room is best known for the holding place of 11th Hour Poetry Slam and 9 on the 9th Open Mic Night among various other events and fundraisers. I was actually invited here over a year ago by some friends who had read about it in the Washington Post and wanted to check it out to see what all the hype was about. I walked away that night feeling like I had just had the best chex ever. In life. EVER. The atmosphere here is awesome, the people are wholesome and friendly and sexy, and the food was freaking AMAZING! ( try the salmon!)I had never been to a Open Mic before this particular night, and had honestly been enlightened to a whole new lifestyle. The people that were on the stage were pouring their hearts and souls out in a public forum without caution. Kanye.

It was thoroughly inspiring. I have always been a lover of poetry and the arts, and this just gave me a reason to take what I do more seriously. Check out the site for yourself:   http://www.busboysandpoets.com/ and go to an event…it’s worth it.

Blog Challenge: Day 3 of 60

Day 3: A habit that you wish you didn’t have.

Cussing people out when I’m mad….

I can’t explain why I do it. I can’t even give a valid reason why it started. But I do know it’s a habit that needs to be broken quickly. Not only is it unhealthy, but its ugly, vicious, and immature. I know that if I know all these things I have more than enough reasons to stop, I’m not ignorant. The crazy thing, is that when I get angry, I feel like I “black- out”. My words take over and my mind stops thinking. There have been so many situations where I’ve cussed someone out and after the situation is over I cry, not because I feel pain…but because I realize the pain I cause in others because of the things that I spew at them. My parents have always told me that it’s okay to be mad at people, and its acceptable to express disagreement with the things someone has done or said…but it’s never okay to verbally abuse someone. I’ve ended friendships, relationships, and opportunities because of my inability to control my temper. I guess the first step to solving a problem is admitting that you have a problem in the first place. And to anyone reading this that I’ve ever cussed out…I’m sorry. I deeply regret reverting back to elementary school in order to get my point across. If I could take it back, I would.

Blog Challenge: Day 2 of 60….

Day 2: The meaning behind your blog name

 

Black = The color of my beautiful skin.

Girl = My gender.

Outer Space = Where my train of thought usually is.

I was sitting one night, thinking about the possible names I would use as my “blogging signature”. At that particular time nothing really striked me as something that I could potentially be stuck with on my site for an extended period of time. People always have names that mean something significant to them or hold some sort of importance in their lives’ in someway. I just couldn’t find it. Then it dawned on me, the key was to think of what I wanted my blog to portray to the rest of the internet world. My mindset has always been that to think outside of the box. Even as a little girl growing up, I could never contain the thoughts in my head. The lightbulb went off. I’m black, I’m a girl. My thinking….outer damn space. So……here we sit… enjoy.

Black Girl Rant #6: Like Crabs In A Bucket..

..some would rather kill themselves trying to keep others down, rather than to use that same effort to try to claw to the top with them. A shame.

I was just recently talking to a guy that I had met about 2 years ago. Of course the situation started out great, we just meshed. Or so it seemed. He turned out to be the most draining, needy, and manipulative individual I had ever met in my life. The crazy thing about the situation though was that I just couldn’t seem to leave him alone. He was such a parasite, and I knew it, but I just couldn’t pull myself away from the situation. I couldn’t let it go until finally he said to me over the phone…

I do just enough to keep you around. You’re a really good girl, but you know I ain’t ready to be in a relationship right now…I know I’m fucked up, but I don’t want you to go and find someone else…

    really ninja?

That’s what’s hot in the streets?

Not only did this ignorant ass negroe not want to commit to me, he also was full of sh!t and knew it, AND he didn’t want me to meet someone a real man who would treat me right. Some people have the audacity to believe that their own emotional baggage is more important than anything else in their life, and is important to others as well. He made me laugh that day, and everyday after that. I promptly erased his number and suggested that he never call me again. Not in those words, but you get the point.  No one is ever worth giving up your happiness, you should never give anyone the power to pull you down to their negative level. It took me awhile to realize certain things, but I’m glad I eventually learned. Misery loves company….and when it knocks, I try not to be home.

Blog Challenge: Day 1 of 60….

Day 1:  16 Interesting Facts About Yourself…

1. I love to paint.

2. I have slight OCD when it comes to my handwriting. It has to be a certain type of pen, and a certain texture of  paper in order for me to feel comfortable writing. #kanyeshrug I do what I want.

3. I believe in “happily ever after”.

4. I pretend to not care about people, because deep inside I care too much.

5. I try to give everyone the benefit of the doubt even when I know they are doing effed up stuff.

6. I love FOOD. Not eating when i’m hungry makes me extremely mad. I am capable of potentially turning into the hulk. 

7. I have a horrible temper.

8. I hate being judged. We are all human, not GOD.  

9. I despise hypocrites and people who agree with them, cosign them, or mimic what they do.

10. Deep inside I am A HUGE nerd. (Pocket protector and all. )

11. I pretend to be a bully, so that the real bullies won’t pick on me.

12. I have very old fashioned ideals when it comes to relationships.

13. I have never cheated in a relationship.

14.  I am honest to the point of being too aggressive. 

15. I have been told I should smile more.

16. I did not vote for Obama. and what?

           

Day 60: 60 Day Challenge…

So, after reading so many blogs on life, love, love-lives, politics, and other things that after a while bore me to my bones, I’ve decided to challenge myself. With what you ask? With the words I put on my own blog. I thought to start a 60 day challenge, to not only learn more about myself, but also to see my own growth as a writer and thinker over the next 60 days. The topics may vary, and I know the length will too, but the main point I’m trying to make is to hopefully spark creativity in myself and others. I like to think of myself as pretty descriptive writer, so the goal over the next 60 days is to pull someone/ people in and let them know ME. Not the facade I WANT people to see, but the REAL me. Uncensored, uncut, and raw. Yes, I know what you’re thinking. No, I will not be pouring my heart and soul out every single day. But I will expose a side of me that few have seen. I hope to mature a little through this challenge. At the end of the day…”I’m talkin to the man in the mirror.”

This Can’t Be Life..

…”this can’t be life, this can’t be right”- Jay Z

I can’t make it…this can’t be it…. So let me get this right….you’re born, you work, you marry, you die? irefuse. irebuke. ideny that this is how my life was meant to be. The above picture shows the horrid basic evolution of how “life” should progress. I respect those squares that follow the standards and norms of society to a “tee”, but some don’t realize that this ideal is NOT meant for everyone. Not everyone has to go to college, get a good job, marry, have kids, and retire. That’s just not very appealing to me in the LEAST. # killyoself.  It annoys me when guys assume that because I’m single I must be miserable and a horrible person. Or that if I haven’t gone to college, I must be someone with low ambition. Far too often people tend to measure success based on things that are irrelevant to the value of life. Success IMO is making it through tough situations with grace, seeing my child live to see another birthday in good health, and having the ability to nurture and appreciate the relationships I have made with people in the course my life. There are a large number of people who don’t  follow societies norms in a traditional sense that have made major impacts…not everyone needs a template for life…I’ve decided to note a few reasons why following the “norm” will most likely not be for me….

I’m too stubborn to ever settle (for anything)..settling is for people that have stopped living. If there are no milestones to reach and no hills to climb there is absolutely no reason to even look for anything meaningful to happen…settling is what the chicks on Flava of Love…oh no wait…that’s just old fashioned gold diggin’. #Nokatstacks.

College is not for everyone…im not on being in debt, or loans, or studying. I tried it for two years…good grades. But in all actuality, college is a scam…yea, I said it. A BIG EFFIN SCAM. All the loans you have to take out, books you have to buy, years you have to waste…pointless. I can succeed in millions of other ways….I dont need 4 years of meaningless classes to prove how well I will fit in society. Damn that. Damn it all.

Because 20  years from now I’m going to look back and smile…I have lived, and lived the BEST way I saw fit. <—that’s what I’m going to say at 75, with my spiked lemonade, and newport light. YEP. #kanyeshrug. I do what I want.

I couldv’e sworn lived in a FREE country…where not everyone had to follow the cookie- cutter template of life. That’s insane. There a million and one ways to get to the top of the mountain, the man at the bottom is a fool for shouting his way to the world. I am fully able and capable of accomplishing my goals without having to live life inside of a box. Yep, It’s possible.

George Clooney and Oprah did it..

Exhibit A: George Clooney

1. Never married

2. Went to 1 year of college, dropped out to pursue acting

3. Wants no kids

Exhibit B: Oprah Winfrey

1. Never married

2. No kids

3. Multi-million dollar empire

Both of these examples show that although it doesn’t work for everyone. The norm is NOT necessarily the standard.

So ha! I DONT have to do things YOUR way. The End.

Black Girl Rant #5: DMV Traffic

                                                                        “Can I live?”

If you just so happen to live in the lovely DC Metro Area, then you have definitely had the honor of being stranded for hours at a time on endless highway in…..TRAFFIC. I hate it. Abhor it. And so eagerly wish it would cease….I mean really, what CAUSES TRAFFIC?

So, I’m driving to my dad’s house in DC (I live MUCH further south), and I have the sudden urge to use the restroom. #FAIL. Not just the urge where you know you can hold it for another 30 – 45 minutes..oh no, this is the urge where if I don’t go immediately “it’s” going to let go FOR me. So I try to plan ahead, have a set plan of action if an emergency arises and I have to pull over and go to a gas station or hotel or SOMETHING. The only problem…I’m sitting in 395 N traffic, on a saturday, in the middle lane, with a 2 year old in the car. Yep, I’m screwed. The funny thing about this area is that DMV traffic is not like anyother kind of traffic, where you just KNOW the reason must be an accident, scheduled construction, temporary blockage of a lane. NOPE. In this area the main source of traffic comes from………………..

1. A police car that pulled someone over on the side of the road.

I can NOT for the life of me understand why people feel the need to immediately slam on their breaks because they see a police car…on the side of the road…that pulled SOMEONE ELSE over…..10 cars ahead. This makes me question the mental capacity of the driver at question, and I immediately proceed to put my turn signal on to change lanes. I don’t need another driver’s stupidity and lack of intelligence to be the cause of my demise. I know I’m not the only person who realizes that if the policeman/woman apprehended someone ELSE, chances are they aren’t checking for YOU going 5 over the speed limit. #whogoncheckmeboo? I guess common sense aint so common.   

2. People talking on their phones.

I’m human. I can admit that I occasionally talk on my phone while driving. But I will NOT however forget that I am behind the wheel of the vehicle. That’s just ridiculous. I thought we as a society had evolved successfully into having the ability to properly multitask. If you can’t focus on the road maybe you should consider …ummm… NOT TALKING ON THE PHONE. Now you have 20 cars behind you that want to throw rocks at your window because they can’t pass you. Does that make you feel powerful? Ugghh..

3. Elderly people and/or New drivers that don’t realize they are going 40 in a 65.

Speaks for itself.

OR…

4. Stupidity.

Slow driving. Cutting people off only to drive even slower than the person you were behind. Rain. Snow. Fog. A slight breeze. Any reason that has anything remotely to do with the weather is ALWAYS cause for traffic. I don’t get it.

So thankfully I made to DC before my body did “it’s functions”.….(I’m too old to be explaining accidents!) But I realized I needed to start catching the Metro and maybe consider investing in a bicycle. My sanity is seriously depleting. It’s to the point now where I plan events, trips and things I do during the day AROUND heavy traffic hours. It’s sad. #Kanyeshrug.

Does anyone else hate traffic as much as I do? What are the REAL reasons that traffic occur?? Is anyone selling a bike?

Woman In The Mirror #3: 5 Secrets To Life..

                                                                 …I’m holding on, are you?

Another beautiful monday morning…another day closer to thursday, and the weekend…and my birthday. I’m really focused now more than ever on what I want to get accomplished by 25. My list is long, but time waits for no one. It feels like just yesterday I was setting milestones for where I wanted to be at 21..so far so good. I think I deserve a small pat on the back for all that has been achieved and overcome by “yours truly”. But I know that I wouldn’t be here where I stand today without my family, close friends, and most importantly MY SON. I hear people constantly say that they “never want kids”, and while I respect that…there is no greater feeling in the world. Five years ago I would’ve never imagined in a million years that at this age I would be a mother, provider of another being. NEVER. But I am, and wouldn’t trade this experience for the world.

But I digress..

While talking to another of my close friends on the phone last night, he asked me a pretty deep question :

“If you could go back to when you were 17/18 and give yourself advice on what you’ve gone through up to this point, what would you say?”

Now, at first I quickly replied. NOTHING! I’m an advocate for going through experiences to know how to adjust for the next situation…but then I retracted my statement because in reality there are situations that you go through in life, only to learn there was truly no point in even going through it in the first place. So I thought of my “7 secrets to life” that I think would enlighten the much younger me with tools to deal with the real world…the absolute first on my list would have to be…

 1. Don’t sweat the small stuff.

It took me so long to finally make this something that I didnt have to TRY to do, overtime it just became a natural reaction. I’ve realized that not EVERY situation or person that comes into my life deserves my undivided attention and urgent priority. My priorities are just that for a reason. So eventually I just realized when it’s time to let things go, and relax. Life is too short to be stressed out over irrelevant situations and draining arse people.

2. Perception is everything.

My dad (who is the ABSOLUTE BEST father…yes FATHER, in the world.) taught me when I was younger that perception is EVERYTHING. Whether anyone wants to admit it or not, you judge people before they even say two words out of their mouths. How you dress, talk, eat, walk….everything is a direct reflection of you and what you’re state of mind is. So if you decide to walk out of the house in knee high boots, a mini skirt with booty meat showing, and a tube top with the ladies hanging out..don’t be suprised if Tyrone and JJ prejudge your character. It aint right, but that’s life. #Doyou.

3. Don’t waste your life focusing on monetary success.

At the end of the day when I’m dead and gone, no one is going to say..”Damn, she had such a beautiful car..and clothes…and took nice trips.” It’s obviously nice to have those things, but it scares me when people waste their whole lives chasing it. It kind of makes me wonder why they cant just enjoy the little things. Money comes and goes, but who you are as a person is eternal. Make an impression that matters.

4. When people show you who they are..BELIEVE THEM!

It’s pretty simple. When people say that they are heartless and have no soul and kick puppies, it makes it kind of hard to assume that they have good intentions when they interact with society. When someone says they can’t be trusted and they don’t like humans, I tend to stay away from those types. Life is too short for subliminals and I value my sanity too much to play games with people who don’t even want to put out good vibes about themselves. Show the pretty side at all times, you never know when the ugly side may come back to bite you.

5. Never let anyone see all the cards in your hand.

I will admit that I am a very emotional person, and I tend to wear my heart on my sleeve with many situations. BUT, I have the ability to see when sometimes I just need to play the background and observe. I refuse to be vulnerable to anyone by force, and I feel like emotions shouldn’t be put on front street all at one time. Keep your hands close until you’re sure you’re ready to play them.

Any other secrets to life? Is there something I’m missing? Is there anything to add to the ones I’ve mentioned?